A response to Winning Through Nonviolence—one of those "clever" messages that people forward to each other around the Net:
Subject: A real punch line
What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid naive hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots, to teach them why force is sometimes needed:
1) Approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about "peace" and saying there should be, "no retaliation."
2) Engage in brief conversation, ask if military force is appropriate.
3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
4) Wait until he says something to the effect of, "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.
6) When he gets back up to up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would, "be awful and he should not cause more violence."
7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to commit additional violence.
8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
This is an excellent example of the stupidity of warmongers and others who favor violence. The speaker has no clue that a response other than violence is possible. That he thinks someone punched will automatically punch back is a classic example of the American or cowboy mentality.
A slightly amended version of this diatribe:
6) When he gets back up to call the police, run like hell. Hope that the dozens of witnesses won't remember your name or face or write down your license plate number.
6a) Better yet, struggle helplessly as the victim's friends or appalled onlookers harmlessly wrestle you to the ground.
7) Wet your pants as the police arrest you for assault and battery. Call your lawyer and hope you can fabricate some story about how you were provoked. Wonder how you could've been so stupid.
8) Go to trial. Lose trial. Go to jail. Lose job, house, wife and kids. Pay huge attorney's fees along the way.
9) Face huge civil suit for medical expenses and other damages. Pay through the nose because you're guilty as hell. Declare bankruptcy and change name to avoid abject humliation. Cry because your life has been destroyed and will never be the same. Glower as the victim laughs uproariously on the way to the bank.
Also amusing is the implication that college-educated people favor peace because they're locked in their ivory towers. One could argue that George W. Bush isn't truly college-educated, but I don't think you can say the same about Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, et al. They're colleged-educated...yet they favored the "war" against terrorism.
Apparently, not all college-educated people think alike. Amazing, eh? Next thing you know, we'll learn people who punch people actually have brains and aren't simply brutish Neanderthals.
In short, force may be necessary sometimes, but getting punched in the face once when you're surrounded by law-abiding citizens and potential witnesses isn't the case. Try again.
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